How to have a better birth
- Erin Fung
- Mar 19, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Apr 5, 2024
Birth can be beautiful, memorable, life changing and intense. But it can also be traumatic, scary and terrifying. Over 30,000 people a year have birth trauma, and the current maternity system is short staffed, risk adverse and contributing to the traumatic picture. So how do you prepare yourself for a better birth?
A big part of having a positive experience is control. And it’s a key aspect of pregnancy and birth that we give away unwittingly. It’s something I hear time and time again. The more people I talk to, the more couples I teach, I hear the same phrase over and over. “Am I allowed to...”, “The midwife said I’m not allowed...”, “they’ve said I have to....”. Having the confidence to speak up, advocate for yourself and make your preferences for birth heard can be difficult, and I understand why someone would think that the decision lies in their healthcare professional. They’re the trained medics. But it’s very easy to be steered down a particular route without realising the decision lies with you. You may have lots of other options other than the one you’re being told you need to take. You CAN say NO to anything. You can say no to an induction. You can say no to a sweep. You can say no to a vaginal exam. The list goes on. The right for a pregnant person to make decisions on the birth of their baby is enshrined in UK law. Under the Human Rights Act 1998, you have the right to make your own choices about the care you receive. It’s not a case of “I’m not allowed to...” and more a case of “I’m not consenting to...”.
Charity Birthrights says:
“Women have the right to make their own choices about how they manage their pregnancy and birth.
Article 8 of the European Convention guarantees the right to private life, which the courts have interpreted to include the right to physical autonomy and integrity.
The right to autonomy means that a woman’s consent must always be sought before performing any medical procedure. Failure to obtain consent violates Article 8, and may also violate the prohibition on inhuman and degrading treatment under Article 3.
Failure to provide sufficient, objective and unbiased information for a woman to make an informed choice will also violate Article 8.”
I’m not suggesting that all maternity caregivers are there to bully you in to doing what they say, or that they don’t have your best interests in mind. But it’s important to understand that hospitals have guidelines and a certain level of risk they’re willing to take, and those guidelines don’t always align with what you would choose if you knew all the facts. The medical setting itself is counter productive when it comes to an environment that encourages the release of birth hormones and the progression of labour. Medicalisation and intervention in birth can often cascade in to further intervention. So it’s vital that with every intervention, procedure and option in birth, you’ve taken the time to do the research, educated yourself on your options and advocate for what you believe to be in the best interests of you and your baby.
Here’s my tips on how to prepare for birth. Follow these easy steps and you’ll feel much more confident in making your wishes heard.
1. Know your stuff. The middle of labour isn’t the time to start figuring out the pros and cons of an intervention. If you do your research, and you’ve put a birth plan in place, you’re more likely to feel confident to decline or consent to a procedure because you’re making an educated and informed decision. If your choice is based on research, it makes your choice rational and based on fact. Having a birth plan on paper to refer to can also give you confidence, as well as something to remind you of what choices you made and why. Just remember that you can change your mind at any point.
2. Get support from your birth partner. If you have a birth partner present, use them. It could be your mum, your husband, your wife or girlfriend, your best friend or your doula. Whoever it is, make sure you’ve run through your birth plan and your preferences before the birth, and allow them to advocate on your behalf so you can focus on giving birth!
3. Try asking questions such as “Can you explain more about...”, “what are the benefits of this procedure?” or “what happens if we don’t do anything and we just wait?”. You have the right to know the facts before making any decision which impacts the health of you and your baby. Asking questions can be easier and feel less confrontational than demands or flat out refusal if you don’t feel confident in doing so straight away.
4. Practice! Role play with your birth partner, advocating for yourself and baby in different situations. It’ll give you the confidence to do it for real. It will also help consolidate and reinforce any knowledge you’ve gained about important aspects of your birth plan that you feel particularly strongly about.
Remember, this is the beginning of your journey to parenthood, and you are your child’s advocate from birth and beyond, so speak up if you want to know more about something or feel strongly about a procedure or option being presented. It’s YOUR choice, your body and your baby. Being prepared will go a long way to giving you the positive birth you deserve.
Written by guest blogger Erin Fung
Birth educator and activist – Better Birth UK
Erin is a mum of 3 to two girls aged 8 and 11, and a boy who’s 4. She’s an antenatal and hypnobirthing instructor, producer of a successful podcast (the Better Birth podcast), lecturer at Greenwich university for their midwifery degree course, and is also the Lead and Chairperson for the Princess Royal University Hospital's Maternity Voices and Neonatal Partnership in Bromley under King’s College hospital. After having 3 very different births, her interest and passion in childbirth and birth preparation increased with each child, until she decided to take the leap and train to become a hypnobirthing instructor and share her passion for empowering women to have an informed and memorable birthing experience. Her experiences have led her on a journey to become a passionate birth educator and activist and she hopes to help other women and birthing people give birth positively, feeling safe, listened to, informed and empowered, regardless of how or where they give birth.
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